okay pat passed out under dana's car
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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