tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
