I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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