I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
