shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
