question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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