im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
