Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
