Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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