Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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