a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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