I want to have your abortion
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
