just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
