Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
