No stitches, just platelets and will power
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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