just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
