The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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