Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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