do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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