so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
