She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
this will be a night to untag.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
