vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
