I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
