my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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