I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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