I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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