nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
