Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
