Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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