finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
