he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
