His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
