If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
