I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
