so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
