After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
