he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
