So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
