tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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