So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
as a side note pls kill me
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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