she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
