...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
