The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
