i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
