just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
