yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
