Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wish I only lived at night.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
