sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
