And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
