I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Dicks are not precious.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
