she woke up with a sticky ear
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
