But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
